A Trans Woman's Response to Trisha Paytas | Kat Blaque


Comments • 2 371

  • Kat Blaque
    Kat Blaque   1 weeks back

    So to be clear, I’m reacting to one repeated reasoning I’ve been given for some people who self ID as non binary or gender fluid (yes I know these things are not the same). I said I didn’t understand it, but that doesn’t mean it’s invalid.

    In short, “I’m non binary because I’m non binary” makes more sense to me than “I’m non binary because I’ve never been able to fit into my gendered expectations”. I don’t think people need to give a grand reason for being transgender and sometimes when they give that one it confuses me because I see those things as objects we gender, not the make of break part of gender. So I just simply don’t know. That doesn’t mean it’s not valid.

    There are so many reasons people are non binary, I didn’t present this as the only reason.

    • kaiyodei
      kaiyodei  3 days back

      but that is how so many people come to the conclusion of their gender, or invent something like eastgender

      but isn't that also one step to discovering one is not cis? isn't that one step to self hypnosis into assuming one is not cis?

      MACKENZIE POTTS  3 days back

      I think you look very pretty without make up!

  • Apila Pepita
    Apila Pepita  33 minutes back


    • Craig Oz
      Craig Oz  2 hours back

      Don't wear that again.

      • Just Jodia
        Just Jodia  3 hours back


        • Sarah Likes Tacos
          Sarah Likes Tacos  5 hours back


          • W o w !
            W o w !  8 hours back


            • Pink Elephant
              Pink Elephant  10 hours back

              🍃As a cis woman who constantly gets id as trans (enby) I totally argree. "Feminine" or "masculine" trates does not make someone a certain gender and I feel like this perspective is a little sexist? I would love to hear your thoughts on this actually. It's weird that I'm saying this as a cis woman but I'm constantly being misgendered.

              • Syd the Kyd
                Syd the Kyd  12 hours back

                🍃 ayyyyy

                • Amy Robinson
                  Amy Robinson  12 hours back


                  • Sicily McRaven
                    Sicily McRaven  14 hours back

                    🍃 thanks for the thoughtful commentary.

                    • R. R. Reus
                      R. R. Reus  14 hours back

                      🍃 wait, I think I found it

                      • R. R. Reus
                        R. R. Reus  14 hours back

                        I can't find the leaf emoji

                        • AgogDisneyGal
                          AgogDisneyGal  14 hours back


                          • boop zoop
                            boop zoop  15 hours back

                            I don't have that emoji lol

                            • blaqkwolf1
                              blaqkwolf1  15 hours back


                              • Ville Lavikka
                                Ville Lavikka  16 hours back

                                🍂 Because I did finish this, but do prefer shorter videos in general.

                                • Seeker KC
                                  Seeker KC  17 hours back


                                  • Zok
                                    Zok  18 hours back

                                    🍃 Saying this as a trans man, I can understand why other trans people (nb or not) would use gender roles as a way to explain why they identify a certain way. As a kid, I always felt like "girl" activities were not made for me, almost forbidden, even the ones I liked, but I couldn't explain why until a few years into adulthood. Feeling a deeper disconnect than mere dislike but being unable to express it, especially for those who don't have dysphoria, might push some people to justify it with arguments such as "I like/don't like makeup".

                                    And there are also most likely people who misunderstand the subject and do think they are trans because they don't like either pink or blue. But as long as they're not using it as an excuse to talk over other people or any such nonsense, I don't care if they're pretending and/or misinformed, they can call themselves whatever they want.

                                    • T—mo
                                      T—mo  20 hours back

                                      🍃 I feel like what's missing is more talk about what's gender (gender as a social construct as well as performance). I often joke that my gender is male privilege for being born male but not quite enough to perform or adjust to the construct of masculinity in my culture. But I do see how and why NBs don't like Butler's reading.

                                      • Kai Ulumuri
                                        Kai Ulumuri  20 hours back

                                        As a nonbinary person myself, I can't speak for all enbies but it is frustrating to hear binary people assume the "presentation" aspects of being nonbinary are the *reasons* someone is nonbinary. You are a woman whether or not you like to have long hair and wear a satin corset, but your long hair and satin corset ARE a way you express your femininity, right? Likewise, I might express my inner nonbinary self by wearing a binder and using an androgynous nickname, but that doesn't mean everyone who does so is nonbinary, or that everyone who is afab nonbinary does those things. These also things that we might do as experiments to understand our identity, and the way they make us feel then becomes a confirmation of that. If a certain outfit makes me recognize myself in the mirror and feel more comfortable in my skin, that outfit is part of transition for me, even though a cis person might wear the exact same thing for other reasons.

                                        For your partner, wearing makeup and being sensitive might be *expressions* of his nonbinaryness - not reasons for it. Nonbinary people get asked to prove our identities all the time but shouldn't have to any more than binary trans people should. It's something internal.

                                        • Gale Van K
                                          Gale Van K  20 hours back

                                          As someone struggling with identity and leaning towards non-binary, my gender had little to nothing to do with societal pressures or gender-binary interests. I simply feel major discomfort with either sex and wish my body were my own version between the two sexes. In a way, I wish I were born intersex.

                                          What I feel is inherent and I cant really see how "interests" or being "assertive vs submissive" have anything to do with gender itself. I just know I'm uncomfortable how I'm typically perceived and wish non-binary was well accepted. I dont feel entire discomfort being viewed as Male or female but I think that's because I have to learn to be relatively comfortable because our society is not a non-binary society. I'd love if people called me They/Them and didnt address me as sir/ma'am, but I cant expect that from anyone other than my friends and family.

                                          To me my gender is just something inherent and I just... cant classify it with interests and personality traits. I can classify it through dysphoria and euphoria, but the fact I'm assertive doesnt mean I'm a man and the fact I write poetry doesnt mean I'm a woman. It's just the fact that I know/feel what I am and i wish i could make my body and appearance represent that.

                                          • Elma Nilsson
                                            Elma Nilsson  22 hours back


                                            • jessiezachbff
                                              jessiezachbff  22 hours back

                                              I really appreciated this video and your perspective.

                                              • Kathryn Casello
                                                Kathryn Casello  22 hours back


                                                • faeriedoodles
                                                  faeriedoodles  22 hours back

                                                  * *leaves* this here * 🍃

                                                  • Marie Lastname
                                                    Marie Lastname  23 hours back

                                                    🍃🍃 Not the right one but I did my best. (I wasn't paying full attention all the way through, though.)

                                                    • Cristina Diamant
                                                      Cristina Diamant  24 hours back


                                                      • Ashtyn Pierre
                                                        Ashtyn Pierre  1 days back

                                                        She also said she identified as black. She will literally do anything for attention

                                                        • Gabriel Dior
                                                          Gabriel Dior  1 days back

                                                          *leaf emoji*

                                                          • Lievi Darling
                                                            Lievi Darling  1 days back


                                                            • Ralphie Shostakovich
                                                              Ralphie Shostakovich  1 days back

                                                              🍃 Hey, so I genuinely don't understand why not being a gender is based on not fitting your sexes stereotype. It seems to me that instead of claiming non binary, we just abolish gender stereotypes so all we have is sex. You can be as masculine or feminine as you are, but you won't be assumed to be what stereotype is assigned to your sex. I feel like I'm really missing the point about gender identity, not to be confused with body dysmorphia which I understand. Thanks in advance

                                                              • Violett Bellerose
                                                                Violett Bellerose  1 days back

                                                                🍃 Mermaid would be a good costume but she's probably done that. The hair reminded me of Uma fron Descendants 2 (I know she's not a mermaid but still)
                                                                Edit: I just realized there's a mermaid on the background XD ok but I stand by it

                                                                • ElvanLady
                                                                  ElvanLady  1 days back

                                                                  I think some people have an issue verbalizing their reasons and don't feel like they can get away with an answer of "I'm non-binary because it suits me" so they come up with "These aspects of my assigned gender don't fit me and don't feel right to me" in a roundabout way.

                                                                  • Allegra!
                                                                    Allegra!  1 days back

                                                                    Commenting a week late, but thought I would go ahead and respond since you specifically wanted to hear from nonbinary people. (I love these videos and your channel in general, I find them very relaxing and non-stressful, so thank you for providing this space <3)

                                                                    First of all, I appreciate that you were careful with the way you phrased all of this (though some people seem to have taken it the wrong way anyways) to make it clear that you weren't questioning the validity of NB people who identify by way of breaking out of gender expectations, but more so expressing confusion and asking for clarification so you could better understand an experience that's very alien to you. As for my perspective on it, I think a lot of the "I didn't do x that conforms to my assigned gender and am therefore nonbinary" stuff can be people somewhat confusing cause and effect. In general, it's very difficult when it comes to identity to disentangle what parts of identity are formed in opposition to the pressures of society and what parts are inherent to you as an individual.

                                                                    For instance, as a dfab nonbinary person not attracted to men, was my discomfort with being sexualized/harassed by straight men due to the misogyny invovled? Or was it the conflict with my sexuality? Or was it being seen as a woman when I wasn't one (though I didn't realize it yet)? It's really hard to say, and in the end what matters is not the label you choose or how you explain it but what is most comfortable and makes you the most happy. A lot of my discomfort with heavily gendered stuff might not exist if society wasn't so adamant on putting me into a box, but the internal sense of "neither 'man' nor 'woman' feels right, but 'nonbinary' makes me feel happy" would still be there. The dysphoria that led me to get top surgery would still be there. And the way that they/them pronouns feel comfy and just *right* would still be there.

                                                                    Anyways, that's how I feel about this stuff. Thanks for sharing these videos with us and making space for a conversation. Hope you've had a good week! : )

                                                                    • Grey
                                                                      Grey  1 days back

                                                                      🍃Hey, you posted this a week ago. Feel free to ignore this 😖 It's gonna be a long-winded text-wall, anyway, like I'd bet money.

                                                                      I...don't know Trisha, and I don't care to find her video, honestly, but I know the talking points you're referring to and, as someone who's been confused about Those N-bis before, I genuinely appreciate your candid honesty. Like, it's...difficult to process, especially when you don't consider your own gender beholden to gender performance.

                                                                      So, the way I see it: It's (generally) accepted that gender is a social construct. As a consequence of that, a person's understanding of gender as a concept is fed by how their culture and the society they live in define it (as well as exposure to people of certain gender identities performing their gender in certain ways, but I feel like that's a given with the social learning thing). Masculinity and femininity and manhood and womanhood have effectively no meaning until someone says, "Dresses are girl clothes," or something like that.

                                                                      Obviously this isn't to say that conforming or not conforming to gender roles makes or breaks a person's gender, but if personal gender identification is the act of acknowledging an internal (dis)association of one's self with a gender, then the roles and expectations of one's assigned and identified genders may be a determining factor. And that means ANY gender expectations; even homophobic or cissexist ones. (Like those cis people who get so bent out of shape when trans people exist openly; they've got this social idea that Certain People Look A Certain Way, they internalized that social expectation and incorporated it into their personal gender identity, and then we come around and poke a hole in it and the entire basis of part of that identity is suddenly in question.)

                                                                      Using myself as an example: I'm a bigender person with pretty solidly transmasculine dysphoria. I've been removing myself from femininity, wanting after more androgynous/masculine physical traits, and knowing myself to be a "masculine" person for...forever. But I don't identify wholly as a man. I don't embody traits the (cis) men I know have. I COULD identify as a feminine trans man, I guess - I know and relate some to people who would fit that description - but that's not any more consistently correct in my head and heart than calling myself a tomboy is. They're both correct and each is a little lacking all by itself, so I use both man and woman for myself. And the deciding factor on what word I use is, admittedly, pretty gender role-y. But it's literally just "I associate myself with both, internally, based on how I understand this concept" and that's all gender is, as far as I'm concerned - an internal association of self with a socially constructed idea.

                                                                      • Cherish Simplicity
                                                                        Cherish Simplicity  1 days back


                                                                        • TokyoRain
                                                                          TokyoRain  1 days back


                                                                          • emerald
                                                                            emerald  1 days back


                                                                            • Mélodye Simard
                                                                              Mélodye Simard  1 days back

                                                                              ok, im kinda happy for this trisha video SO that i can find you and, might i say - so that a bigger dialogue is brought to light - if its a troll or not, if it can bring more curiosity and dialogue.... than yesss
                                                                              also: i am NOT a supporter of trisha and think she is spreading misinformation to her audience and somebody should take away her phone and camera cause its not good for anyone IMO
                                                                              but thank you for this vid xxx

                                                                              • mr_Rikard
                                                                                mr_Rikard  1 days back

                                                                                🍃 I like the longer videos, cause then I can start it and do things around the appartment while listening ^-^'

                                                                                Haven't seen the trisha video, so I'm just disregarding that completly

                                                                                I'm afab, came out as a transman and started transitioning over 10 years ago. It did so much for my dysphoria having the hormones and first surgery. I held off on the other one. Recently I have come out as nonbinary, cause even tho I feel so much better, I still felt I was lying... I see myself as outside the genderspectrum... Many describe the feeling of when they first started "passing", with finally being seen as themself... Well, for me, those moments are when people really can't place me in either. My expression is a tool to achive that, socially, just as anyones, no more, no less. My identity exsist no matter what I express, and it wouldn't go away with either binary gender (belive me, I tried all versions... ), but when I finally found a way to present as myself I feel at peace and honest in that I am expressing myself.

                                                                                So first hand, yeah, it certainly exsist.

                                                                                That being said, just as other parts of the lgbtq+ community have had in the past, there seem to be an uppswing in political identification... The L community faced this in an earlier wave of feminism, with het women who attempted being with women instead to avoid overprivledged men... now people who are fed up with genderroles are basicly appropriating nonbinary gender... I'm certainly seeing that a lot in recent years... I'm never gonna judge an individual person as to wether their identity is political or genuine, I much rather include someone than exclude...but it gets a bit frustrating at times, when it creates these kind of missconceptions about our identities

                                                                                • Karen Fouche
                                                                                  Karen Fouche  1 days back


                                                                                  • maya v
                                                                                    maya v  1 days back

                                                                                    off topic but, you should be Poison Ivy for halloween! The red braids and throughout the whole video (with the flowers in the hair and the green top!) gave me poison ivy vibes... also this is the first video ive ever seen of yours! I love how you explain yourself, its easy to understand :)

                                                                                    • AnxiousGary
                                                                                      AnxiousGary  1 days back


                                                                                      • Karen Flower
                                                                                        Karen Flower  1 days back

                                                                                        You could go with Mother Nature that’s the vibes I’m getting!

                                                                                        • Emerson Lindstrand
                                                                                          Emerson Lindstrand  1 days back

                                                                                          I want to just say I appreciate you for voicing your confusion on nonbinary identities because it all honesty they are confusing. I am a nonbinary agender person and use they/them pronouns and I knew I was not a girl from a young age. I was confused as to what I was for years, being called she/her or my birthname, made me so uncomfortable. I felt a wave of dysphoria but I knew he/him would hurt me even more. I knew I was not a woman but I knew I was not a man. I was so confused and it did not help my mental health struggles either, when I was 11, I found out what nonbinary identities were and I felt like I would never be able to be my true self. I attempted suicide and then waited until I was 14 to come out and I have been out since. I felt so uncomfortable by being called she or he, I knew it was wrong. I knew I was not either and I did not understand it. My reasons I know I'm nonbinary is not anything involving any concept of gender roles, I just knew the feeling I got being referred to as she/her or he/him or my birthname, made me want to rip off my skin because it felt like the worst thing ever to me.

                                                                                          • sarah K
                                                                                            sarah K  1 days back

                                                                                            Don’t take what Trish says to close to heart. I really don’t think she meant to hurt or offend anyone. She’s struggling with mental health issues 😞 bless you ❤️

                                                                                            • Morgan Cody
                                                                                              Morgan Cody  2 days back

                                                                                              As a trans guy, I found that for a long time I didn't really enjoy feminine dress or makeup and it was partly because it was sensory hell and partly because it all felt so costumey. But since starting medical transition I'm a little more willing to mess around with expression to a point. But I've come to the understanding that gender is what you make it.

                                                                                              • Alice Taylor
                                                                                                Alice Taylor  2 days back